I Belonged to Him
by fluttercullen89
Summary: Lily's point of view from "She Wasn't Mine." You probably don't have to read that one first... but please do!


**Well I couldn't get it off my mind. Here's the "sequel" to "She Wasn't Mine" in Lily's point of view. Everyone seems to write the Lily and James getting together scene as instant, usually with James being clever and witty and finally kissing Lily, which of course leads to her acceptance of him. Well that's not how I'm going to write it... especially seeing as how she's been averse to him almost their entire Hogwarts careers. I hope you like it.**

I had been walking the grounds for some time, trying to find a spot where I wouldn't be surrounded by my friends. Don't get me wrong; I loved them all. There were just those times, like this one, where I needed solitude of the greatest kind to get my head re-attached.

I had a lot to think about. I was made Head Girl at the beginning of term and James Potter and I had been going crazy just trying to get the prefects organized. When I couldn't find my secret solitude, James saw fit to wrap me in a "practically perfect Potter hug," as he put it. And I had to admit, they were practically perfect.

But James was nowhere in sight at the moment, so I had to content myself with my seemingly eternal wanderings.

As I finally just decided to attach myself to my favorite place in the courtyard, I became aware of a presence that I hadn't been able to lose for quite some time.

Severus.

The very name sent waves of sadness over me. Remembrance and friendship always accompanied the melancholy as my mind flashed over the good times we'd had together in the spring of our relationship.

As I began scuffing my shoes, I felt the madness begin again. Every time I felt his nearness I argued with myself. _**Should I talk to him? Should I ignore him? Should I just say hello?**_ My answers to this war within were always the same: _**Saying hello would encourage him to try again and make me forgive him for something that was unforgivable. Ignoring him would encourage further battle between my heart and my head. Talking with him would make it seem as if our conversation from the previous summer hadn't taken place.**_

_It had been almost two years since the incident by the lake, and the argument afterwards. I knew I had told him then and there, had made my decision just as he had already made his. But somehow... _

_I knew this was folly. I knew it would just hurt me – and I knew even more that it would hurt my old friend._

_But I also knew it had to be done._

_Sitting on the very same swing from my memory of that day so long ago, I began pumping my legs gently... waiting. I knew he would come; he always did. Every afternoon at the same time, I could see a figure creeping onto the old playground from my window, hoping for our secret meetings of old._

_This one day, he would not wait in vain._

_I sat scuffing my shoes as I heard his cautious approach._

_"Hello, Lily." I paused, not knowing what to say except "Hello, Severus."_

_The air was filled with tension. We hadn't spoken alone since the night I lost my faith in him. Severus was my first foray into the world in which I had been living, learning, and loving for six years now, and we were soon to start our seventh. But it would not be together._

_"Erm..." I could see that he didn't know what to say. Knowing Sev, he had probably planned out an entire speech about how I needed to forgive him because he would never intentionally do anything to hurt me and he... loved me._

_Oh, yes. I'd known for some time that he loved me. And if he'd chosen his circle of friends differently I might have accepted, maybe even returned that love. But the lightness I had once seen in him was now being overpowered by his present company. "It's alright, Sev. You don't need to say anything."_

_"Oh, Lily!" He seemed overjoyed. "I knew you'd forgive me! You're my best friend and I never meant to hurt you. I didn't mean it! I didn't mean it." He seemed to lose control, forgetting his carefully planned facade near the end._

_I didn't know what to say. He had begged me before, on the night he'd threatened to sleep outside Gryffindor Tower. But the man today seemed to be my best friend again._

_"Aren't you going to say something?"_

_"Severus..." I knew we couldn't be friends again, not while he was still in cahoots with the likes of Voldemort. "How are your other friends? Avery and Mulciber, was it?" I couldn't look at him. My heart couldn't take it anymore. The little boy in over-sized clothes I had met six years ago in this very spot was in danger of disappearing completely with his next words._

_So I waited, scuffing my shoes impatiently._

_"I... we..." he mumbled._

_All I could do was sigh. He had chosen the same path once again, and so had I. "Then you know my answer, Sev."_

_"But – Lily it's our last year at Hogwarts. Can't you just..."_

_"No," I said firmly. If he knew me at all, he would know it was finished. I looked up after this, wanting to see his face to determine his resolve. Or maybe it was more so he could see mine. "Goodbye, Severus."_

_After a long time, the longest pause ever to take place between us, Severus Tobias Snape sighed and looked straight into my eyes for the last time._

_"Goodbye, Lily."_

Our conversation that day on our playground seemed to stop his advances – for a time. He hadn't come up to me, no. But he had been watching. I would catch him sometimes, and he wouldn't notice. All I could see were sad eyes before I quickly turned, his secrecy still intact to the best of his knowledge.

It wasn't long into my brooding before I sensed another presence, one I had been looking forward to more and more this year.

James Charlus Potter (who, in the aftermath of too many sugar quills had accidentally revealed his middle name to me) had become a happy name to me over the past six months. We had owled frequently over the summer.

He had revealed to me a depth I had never known to exist in him before the end of sixth year. And in turn, I had revealed my problems with Severus. Reluctantly, I might add. After all, it was well known around school that James and the rest of the Marauders loathed Snape. And outside of those four frankly wonderful men, I was the only one that knew why that hate existed.

When James had first started pursuing me (which, if I was honest with myself, was on the first train ride to Hogwarts), I was much too interested in my friendship with Sev to pay him any mind. And I believe James had sensed our closeness.

But after James found it in his best interest to deflate his head, he gave me the advice I needed in a quick response to my worried owl.

**My dearest Lily:**

**I understand that you're concerned about your old friend. And, as much as it pains me to say this, I think you should talk to him one last time. Ask him if he's still friends with those Slytherins, and if he isn't, you get your friend back. If he is, you know your answer. Tell him to get his act together if he wants to still be your friend. If doesn't, you still know your answer. You told me the very same thing by the lake and that's what I'm trying to do – because I care about you deeply. I'm sure Snape will do the same as me if he's your true friend. Personally I consider it the height of dishonor to betray your friends.**

**I'm looking forward to this year, Evans.**

**James**

**P.S. How's the Giant Squid doing?**

Those words helped James' cause more than he would know.

Wanting to see if it was the man in question, I looked up only to see the laughter-contorted face of Sirius Black, his hand pointed down at the back of a certain Mr. James Potter, who happened to be splayed most amazingly on the cold flagstones. I couldn't help but join in the laughter to see the man I had slowly grown to admire in a most vulnerable position.

All thoughts of Severus gone from my head, I heaved myself up from my place of solitude and joined Sirius and James. I could see immediately that Black would be of no help to his mate, what with his sudden coughing fit and all. So I reached my hand out to James, hoping he would take it.

He did, of course.

And I was rewarded with his mischievous grin, one that was meant just for me.

"Hello," I whispered through my giggles.

If possible, his grin widened. "Hello, yourself." His glasses were askew, his hair unkempt.

I was suddenly very aware of his hand still loosely holding mine. "Head duties tonight, right?"

"Of course, mi'lady," he answered with an epic sweep of his free hand.

I took the opportunity to squeeze his hand and intertwine our fingers. His answering grin told me that our meeting today wasn't finished, so I followed as he grabbed my bag, my hand still in his.

Having a spark of inspiration, I led him into an empty corridor past the statue of the one-eyed witch. It was funny; this time last year I would have expected James and I to get together after heated words and sincere apologies. And his head deflation. But I never would have expected many comfortable silences and tender stares to be the real ice-breakers.

It was time for him to know how I felt.

As James stared into my eyes, I saw a firm resolve form in his. The same resolve that had finished me and Severus.

And suddenly, James Potter was kissing me, Lily Evans, with his hands pressed against the wall around my shoulders and our bags forgotten on the floor.

Feeling him pull away and not wanting our first kiss to end quite yet, I put my hands to his face, barely grazing his cheeks and putting all of my love into it. And I smiled. I smiled because James had finally become the man I could love. I smiled because we were finally together. But most of all I smiled because I knew, in that moment, that James Potter and I belonged to each other.

He was mine, and I was his.

And more still, he had chosen the path that led to me.

I broke away and sighed, resting my forehead against his. As we smiled only for each other, James brought my hand to his lips and kissed it gently, tenderly.

And with that, another sloppy grin on his face, he broke away from the wall of the empty corridor and began the swinging of our hands.

"Alright, Evans?"

Who would have known that the phrase that once brought an angry red to my face would now bring me joy? Knowing that our future was as intertwined as our hands were now, I stood on my toes and kissed his cheek.

Laughing deeply, he almost literally hopped around the corner, pulling me along with him.

And leaving someone else far behind.

But as James wrapped me in his arms in a "practically perfect Potter hug," I couldn't be bothered with that old presence. A presence in which I had once found hope, encouragement, and love.

The only thing I could feel now were James' arms about me, his cheek under my lips, and a love growing in my chest for this amazing man that now belonged to me.

And I belonged to him.

**This was a lot longer than I expected it to be. And even if it's terrible, I wrote it. I HAD to get it off my mind. So there you are!**

**And I realize that Lily and Snape most likely never talked again after that conversation outside Gryffindor Tower after he called her a Mudblood. But for the sake of my story, they did. Personally, I still think Snape was a git. He still treated Harry terribly despite his love for Lily, and he was still awful to most of his students. But I do feel sorry for him. If he had only chosen a different path, it might have been Harry Snape we would be reading about. But... Potter sounds better, don't you think?**


End file.
